(CMT Offstage keeps a 24/7 watch on everything that’s happening with country music artists behind the scenes and out of the spotlight.)
When Miranda Lambert tweeted, “Dear Airports. You suck. :)” late Monday night (Oct. 24), who knew it would be the start of an hours-long, in-flight Twitter play-by-play of her first-class journey to Los Angeles? And who knew it would be so awesome? I stayed tuned from the minute Lambert said, “At least being me a Bacardi or 3:).” She also revealed Martina McBride and Billy Ray Cyrus were on her flight but that she was sitting next to a random dude who asked her to talk to his daughter (Sydney, 13) on the phone. Who could blame him? You’re sitting next to a superstar. Someone must be called. She admitted the random dude, Mark, was nice and smelled good. Then there was Sally, who I think was seated in front of Lambert. “Mark & Sally are my new friends. (she looks like a Sally),” Lambert wrote. Then, randomly, “What would y’all do If I just busted out with Achy Breaky Heart right now?:)” There were some spelling mistakes in her ramblings, which her followers pointed out to her, to which she shot back, “PS to write songs you just have to know how to sing the words not spell them. So there! Kids of the World… go to ’collage’:)!” Things got quiet after that, so she said she was going to watch some episodes of The New Girl with Zooey Deschanel. But then, in an aromatherapeutic turn of events, the man next to Sally sprayed some rose water and ruined everything. Once they started their descent, Lambert wondered via Twitter, “What the hell is rose water anyway and why would a 60 year old man carry it in a zip lock on a plane and freaking spray it on his face?” It was a very entertaining flight. I hope she takes to Twitter every time she flies.