How I Became Zac Brown

I am Zac Brown. At least that’s the result of the “Which Country Star Are You?” online quiz I took on BuzzFeed.

Here’s the description of how I’m just like Brown: “You’re incredibly chill, and that’s only partly because you’re a bit of stoner. You have a romantic streak, but your one true love is Southern cooking.”

A “bit of a stoner”? Nowhere in the quiz does it ask if you ever smoked pot. So I am seriously questioning the validity of the questions and conclusions, but ever since I was 17 reading Seventeen, I’m emotionally and physically unable to resist a good quiz.

I’m not sure how this all works, but here are the choices I made:

Q: What do you miss most about the good ol’ days?

A: I chose Johnny and June. Handwritten letters was my back-up answer, but I thought then I’d be typecast as a girl singer.

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

A. My answer was grilling BBQ. Mostly out of a process of elimination because I wasn’t about to pick hunting and/or fishing or admit I watch reality TV.

What are you drinking?

A. I chose Jack Daniel’s. Not that I’m drinking it right now. That would be weird. I just answered it based on the line of questioning that was setting the stage for kind of a night on the town.

Where would you like to get a drink?

A. I went with dive bar. I love the anonymity of dives, the cheap drinks and the fact that there’s usually some kind of country music or Southern rock playing. I was at one this weekend called Firewater Saloon, and that one’s owned by a firefighter. I should get bonus points for that. This answer was a tie with “just gonna park somewhere” because it makes me think of Brett Eldredge’s great song “Tell Me Where to Park.”

Pick a shade of denim.

A. I chose the perfect vintage fade. Not too navy (which looks terrible with black) and not too acid-washed (which looks terrible after 1987).

How to do you handle a break-up?

A. I voted for “try to have sex at least one more time.” That’s not true at all because I’ve been married for years and forget what it’s even like to break up with someone. (Again, that probably just makes me more like Brown, who has been married to his wife Shelly forever.) But I needed to throw the quiz a curve.

Pick a truck.

A. I went with an old yellow one. Old because I hate the idea of a brand new truck that you wouldn’t want to get dirty. And yellow because there just aren’t enough yellow cars on the road anymore.

Alison makes her living loving country music. She's based in Chicago, but she's always leaving her heart in Nashville.