Having just recovered from the real CMA Awards, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to reliving the fictional CMA Awards on Wednesday night’s (Nov. 19) episode of Nashville.
But then, Rayna won six awards and suddenly it was like all was right with the world. When she won entertainer of the year, as she should have, everyone was so genuinely happy for her. Except Luke. More on that later.
“This is not a night I could ever have dreamed of. To all the female artists out there who are paving the way for generations to come, and to my man, my love Luke Wheeler: I share this with you, babe. What’s mine is yours. There’s plenty of sunshine for all of us,” she said when she accepted the award.
But that wasn’t the only speech that stood out to me.
From Will’s Stuart Smalley daily affirmation moment before the awards, to Deacon’s text to Rayna after her win, the show was packed with the kind of quotes that make this TV show into a potential country song.
1. “I’m not great with normal,” Juliette said before leaving for the awards.
2. “The only validation I need for my music is to know that people like it,” Deacon told Scarlett about why he’s not much for awards shows.
3. “You wanna know what my plan is? I’m gonna love my child. Unconditionally,” Avery said to his judgmental, unforgiving jackass of a father. (Those were his words, not mine.)
4. “The only reason your album went gold is because I proposed to you the day you released it,” Luke said to Rayna, who I should point out, is his fiancee and the supposed love of his life. The only selfless thing Luke did all night was give Sadie a little pep talk backstage when her ex texted her looking for his cut because he’d inspired her music.
5. “I don’t know. If he’d shut his dang pie hole and let her talk,” Scarlett told Deacon when Luke was hogging the microphone after his CMA win with Rayna.
6. “I’m not my father. You’re not your mother. We’re us,” Avery told Juliette in the most romantic two seconds of the show.
7. “I hate to ask you this. But I don’t think I can get my dress unzipped. Do you mind?” Juliette — a self-described hippo in tulle and lace — asked Avery.
8. “I don’t want to be famous like this,” Layla said after becoming overly obsessed with social media’s obsession with her.
9. “So, do we just put this on my tab?” Teddy asked his hooker girlfriend.
10. “Congrats Ray. Much deserved,” read the late night text from Deacon to Rayna that I predict will be life-changing.
The bad news of the episode, of course, is that despite being at the top of his career, Luke won the CMA Award in my head for biggest baby of the year. He cemented his status as a selfish 4-year-old by stomping around, giving Rayna the silent treatment and scowling every time he didn’t win a prize. And almost every time he opened his mouth, his misogynistic ego did all the talking.