You were expecting chestnuts, right? Sorry. Luke Bryan has replaced them with peanuts. It’s because he’s the son of a peanut farmer, and that’s what sons of peanut farmers do.
In an email he sent to fans Tuesday (Dec. 23), Bryan revealed his new lyrics to “The Christmas Song,” the holiday classic made famous by the late Nat King Cole.
Bryan replaces the chestnuts with peanuts, Jack Frost with catfish, reindeer with selfies, eyes all aglow with phones all aglow, goodies with tour dates and Santa with himself. (Why he didn’t replace turkey with whiskey is beyond me. Seems like a no-brainer.)
It all rhymes out almost as nicely as the original tune Mel Torme and Robert Wells wrote, and the King Cole Trio first recorded in the 1940s.
Try not getting Bryan’s repurposed lyrics stuck in your head:
Peanuts boiling on an open fire
Catfish nipping at your toes
Jacked-up truck, 35-inch mud tires
“I See You” on the radio
Everybody knows, the fans who come to all the shows
Helped to make this year so bright
Arms raised up, with their phones all aglow
We raise a beer to you tonight
They know that Luke is on his way
He’s got songs and lots of tour dates he will play
And every Nut House fan is gonna try
To score a selfie with Luke passing by
And so we’re offering a simple thanks
To fans from one to ninety-two,
We’ll see you on tour, and just one more thing
Merry Christmas to you