Dolly Parton Nailed It with Her Cabin-Fever Poem

"If the Virus Don't Kill Us, the Staying Home Will," She Recites

Dolly Parton has been writing songs for about 55 years. That much, we knew. First for some famous country singers, then for herself.

But as it turns out, she’s quite the poet as well. In one of her latest Instagram posts, Parton shared a funny-because-it’s-true poem for her fans, friends and followers that might help ease the burden of cabin fever. Or at least let you know that misery loves company and we’re all #AloneTogether.

Even though Parton does not have children of her own, it’s obvious that she knows exactly what’s going on in homes around the world as parents are trying to work from home as their children are trying to learn from home. With no real end in sight.

Parton doesn’t actually give the one-minute poem a name, so let’s just call it
“How Do I Hate Thee, Quarantine?”

This too shall pass
As all things will
If the virus don’t kill us
The staying home will
The kids are bored and restless
They scream and yell and squawk
And the teens and tweens
They’re just plain mean
They bite your bleeping head off
And all those loving couples
That were once so sweet and cozy
Now they fight like cats and dogs
Like Donald and Pelosi
Lord, get us back to school
And get us back to work
And get us out of this dadgum house
Before someone gets hurt
And Lord, please find a vaccination
In the form of a shot or a pill
Because if the virus don’t kill us
The staying home will

Alison makes her living loving country music. She's based in Chicago, but she's always leaving her heart in Nashville.
@alisonbonaguro