I think I'll just stay here and drink/Whiskey river, take my mind/It's five o'clock somewhere/There stands the glass/I love this bar/Whiskey, if you were a woman/The whiskey ain't workin' anymore/Don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind/It's beer thirty honky tonk time/Tonight the heartache's on me/Take another shot of courage/Bring me two pina coladas/What's made Milwaukee famous has made a loser out of me/Tonight the bottle let me down/ It's all right, 'cause it's midnight and I got two more bottles of wine/ I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home.
Those are just a few lines from some
of the most memorable country drinking songs in history. And, drinking songs -- make no mistake about it --have been a staple
of country music throughout its history. Country music's candid story songs have presented all sides of the business of getting
Dixie-fried on some kind of "White Lightnin'."
The canon of songs vividly depicts the sheer exuberance of the Saturday
night honky tonk fever and excitement, the flirting and romance and cheating and slipping around, as well as the fighting
and the brawling. And then there's the coming to grips with the Sunday morning guilt and redemption caused by Saturday night's
fun. No less important is the subject of the human tragedy caused by drinking's impact on lives, careers and families. Country
music has traditionally celebrated and catalogued all aspects of its audience's lives -- from the workplace to patriotism
to home and the family to the good times and the not-so-good times -- and alcohol has always been at the center of that focus.
those subjects are addressed in Morning After: The 40 Greatest Drinking Songs of Country Music. It premieres Saturday
(Nov. 1) at 8 p.m. ET/PT. The program is hosted by Wynonna, who notes, "Each [song] is rooted in a basic human experience
- like the freedom of a Saturday night or the regret of a Sunday morning. They may make you wanna kick back, get rowdy or
sometimes just sit there and have a good cry."
Wynonna also explains how to comport yourself in a bar: "Here's some
important barroom etiquette rules everyone needs to know. If you meet someone in a bar and forget their name, it's always
permissible to call them Baby or Darlin'. However, it is never permissible to call them Babycakes or Honeypants, OK? And lastly,
all bartenders everywhere, can always be called Joe."
Among those who comment on the 40 Greatest Drinking Songs
are Tim McGraw, Shania Twain, Toby Keith, Ronnie Dunn, Brad Paisley, Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson, Reba McEntire, Patty
Loveless, Marty Stuart, Sheryl Crow, Travis Tritt, Blake Shelton, Eddie Montgomery, Troy Gentry, Hank Williams Jr., Dierks
Bentley, Aaron Tippin, Charlie Robison, Lorrie Morgan, Phil Vassar and Cledus T. Judd.
The songs are counted down on
the program. And here they are -- in alphabetical order:
"All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight"
for My Horses"
"Don't Come Home a Drinkin' With Lovin' on
"Don't the Girls All Get Prettier at Closing Time"
"Drinking My Baby Goodbye"
in Low Places"
"I Think I'll Just Stay Here and Drink"
"I Love This Bar"
"I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate
"It's Five O'Clock Somewhere"
"Naked Women and Beer"
"Set 'em Up Joe"
"Straight Tequila Night"
"Sunday Morning Coming Down"
Rounds With Jose Cuervo"
"That's Why I'm Here"
"There's a Tear in My Beer"
"There Stands the Glass"
the Bottle Let Me Down"
"Tonight the Heartache's on Me"
"Two More Bottles of Wine"
"Two Pina Coladas"
Days and Wasted Nights"
"What's Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made a Loser Out of Me"
"Whiskey Ain't Working"
Bent and Hell Bound"
"Whiskey, If You Were a Woman"
"You Ain't Much Fun"
"You Never Even Call Me by My Name"