You want fireworks?
How about Blake Shelton exploding at No. 1 this week with "My Eyes" -- his pairing with Gwen Sebastian? And it took him a mere 12 weeks to do it.
Then there's Mrs. Shelton's parallel triumph. After being dislodged for a week, Miranda Lambert's Platinum has bounced back as country music's the top-selling album.
If all this isn't enough excitement for you, then you're pretty much out of luck. Not a lot's happening on Billboard's latest country charts.
There's just one new album and two new songs.
Debuting as the No. 49 CD is Bubba Sparxxx' Made on McCosh Mill Road. On the songs side, we have Thompson Square's "I Can't Outrun You" (No. 59) and Kristian Bush's "Trailer Hitch" (No. 60).
Songs making a comeback include Ben Rue's "I Can't Wait (Be My Wife)" (No. 57) and Jason Aldean's "This Nothin' Town" (No. 58).
The No. 2 through No. 5 albums, in that order, are Brantley Gilbert's Just as I Am, Luke Bryan's Crash My Party, Willie Nelson's Band of Brothers (last week's No. 1) and the multi-artist collection Now That's What I Call Country: Volume 7.
Completing the Top 5 songs array are Jake Owen's "Beachin'," Chris Young's "Who I Am With You," Tyler Farr's "Whiskey in My Water" and Joe Nichols' "Yeah."
Last week's No. 1 song, Justin Moore's "Lettin' the Night Roll," has slipped to No. 6.
Things are looking good for Kenny Chesney's "American Kids," which bowed in last week at No. 27. Now it's at No. 20.
Not a lot of new titles to play with for title tunes. But desperation prevails. So to thoroughly distort the songs' original meanings, we offer these fusings: "I Can't Outrun You/Roller Coaster" and "I Got a Car/Trailer Hitch."
How do we do it! And, more to the point, why?