(CMT Offstage keeps a 24/7 watch on everything that's happening with country music artists behind the scenes and out of the spotlight.)

These are your best worsts, Entertainment Weekly? Come on. You must've really been struggling to find things wrong with the CMA Awards if these worsts are all you could come up with:

• Criticizing a Keith Urban/Zac Brown collaboration was your first mistake. You could put those two voices on any song and it will sound excellent, hook or no hook.

• Then you didn't like the way Faith Hill sang "God Bless America" at the end of her performance? Maybe you have something against God or America, but please leave Hill out of that.

• You also had something bad to say about Little Big Town's "Pontoon" performance. Cheesy and straight out of 2004, you claimed. It's about chilling on a boat, you know. It's not rocket science.

• And you may not have loved Jake Owen's leopard print blazer, but animal prints are the new neutral. So he's actually kind of ahead of the trend on that one.

• You didn't care for Miranda Lambert's custom-made corset from The Blondes, either, or what you called "Grandma's Bedazzled Doormat." I suppose if she'd worn something to make her blend in a little better, you might have deducted fashion points for her lack of imagination.

• Same goes for your comments on The Band Perry's styling.

• And as for Hunter Hayes, let me get this straight. You didn't like him because "he can seem a little too polished at times"? Sorry. Next time we'll make sure all the CMA new artist of the year nominees suck a little, just to keep that rookie charm.