Brad Paisley’s Tuesday TV Options

Now we all know what Brad Paisley is really doing on Tuesday nights. Once he debuted his new brand song on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Tuesday night (Oct. 8), it was pretty obvious he knows much too much about television programming for the one night a week when there’s no football on.

His song, “There Ain’t No Football on Tuesday Night,” was what Kimmel called the “first-ever theme song for football on Tuesday.”

He said Paisley came up with it because Carrie Underwood is doing the theme song for Sunday Night Football, and for so long Hank Williams Jr. had done it for Monday Night Football. When it was Paisley’s turn, here’s the song he had to offer in a special video:

“Well, it’s Tuesday night, and I’m ready to go
The wings are hot and the beer’s gonna flow
I’m hanging with by bros — that’s Derrick and Wayne
We’re all fired up to sit down and watch the game
But there’s one little thing that I didn’t get right
There ain’t no football on Tuesday night

“Well, Derrick and Wayne they’re not amused
After clicking around, they stand confused
There’s plenty of games on Saturday and Sunday
And again on Thursday and don’t forget Monday
There’s high school football on Friday Night Lights
But there ain’t no football here on Tuesday night

“There’s a whole world of TV on Tuesday night, boys
Well, there’s Toddlers & Tiaras, Say Yes to the Dress,
Fashion Police, Hair Fabulous,
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Amish Mafia,
Pawn Stars, Bad Girls Club: Miami,
TMZ or Storage Wars,
Donut Showdown, Extra, Man v. Food,
House Hunters, Ringmasters, Access Hollywood,
Rizzoli& Isles or The Price Is Right
But there ain’t no football on Tuesday night.”

You’ve got to give Paisley credit for throwing all those TV shows into one verse in a song and for making them kind of rhyme. But he did forget to mention Reba on CMT, so I guess maybe he’s not quite the walking TV Guide I thought he was.

Alison makes her living loving country music. She's based in Chicago, but she's always leaving her heart in Nashville.